Love & Logic: Review Part 1

One would think that a clinical social worker can handle herself and her children in the best manner – at all times – how not true that statement is!

Parenting and motherhood is THE hardest thing I have EVER done in my entire life! I taught multiple parent trainings that centered around self care, emotional awareness, regulation skills and cognitive stimulation. These trainings only grazed the surface on what all went in to parenthood, but I felt like I knew more than the average person about child development and what to do in tricky situations. Boy was I wrong…ha

Making the decision to start a family is a HUGE decision in one’s relationship. It comes with life style changes, husband and wife challenges, and oh yeah…those cute little babies! The thing with babies is they grow up and turn in to toddlers, threenagers and beyond – all with their own challenges.

If you’ve been reading my posts, you know that I our oldest daughter has given me a run for my money lately (check out these posts here and here to get an idea of what I’m talking about). The two kid challenge has really tested my social work skills and mommy brain – now with the third on the way (within 2 weeks!) – my stress level has peaked.

With all this going on I decided I need to stop complaining and start doing something about all my miscues and stress level. I went back to some training material and was reminded about a few different parenting books that were used to give tips and tricks during parent training. One of which was Parenting With Love And Logic by Cline and Fay.

I have not opened this book since my early social work years, and have yet to finish it – there are so many good points that I figured a mid book summary was okay! I will say, I am not TOTALLY convinced on EVERY.SINGLE.THING they promote, but the general gist of the book and the ability it has already had to make me stop and think about my words is working for me.

Cline and Fay begin the book by talking about the basic premise of being a “Love and Logic Parent”. This meaning that the parents are raising responsible children who learn from their mistakes and consequences – whether positive or negative – (they call them Significant Learning Opportunities). A Love & Logic parent helps their children “move from total dependence on us to independence, from being controlled by us to controlling themselves.” This theme carries itself throughout the entire book and is referred back to throughout the scenarios and tips given.

They jump next in to different parenting styles – and here is my disclaimer: I am not promoting any of these nor am I trying to make anyone feel guilty about which one they “fall” under. I think each person needs to find what works best for them and focus on improving that skill as a parent. I find myself in different categories that they describe at different times in my motherhood – I’m trying to focus on changing some things I do personally that works best for my kids and my family and so should you!

  • Helicopter Parent – Cline and Fay describe these parents as those who are always coming to rescue their child. They run lunches, permission slips, homework to school. They are always pulling their children out of a jam. “Whenever their children send up an SOS flare, helicopter parents, who are ready hovering nearby, swoop in and shield their children from teachers, playmates and other elements that appear hostile”.
    • Cline and Fay feel that these types of parents are loving, but depriving children from learning. “Such children are unequipped for the challenges of life. Their significant learning opportunities were stolen from them in the name of love.”
  • Drill Sergeant Parents – They love their children and the more they “bark orders and the more they control”, the better their kids will be in the long run. They are constantly told what to do.
    • “Kids of drill sergeant parents, when given the chance to think for themselves, often make horrendous decisions…these kids are rookies in the world of decision making”. Cline and Fay claim that these types of children are followers because they never learned how to make decisions for themselves.
  • The Consultant Parent – “Love & Logic Parent” As children grow, they move from being concrete thinkers to being abstract thinkers when they are teens. Children need thoughtful guidance and firm, enforceable limits. The authors state that as children grow into adolescents, this parenting style becomes even more important.
    • Children have been taught to make their own decisions. They are offered choices while young (but can still be started in teen years) which forces them to think about choices and the consequences. “In order for children to succeed, their kids need to learn to make their own decisions.”

According to Cline and Fay, being a consultant parent is “the” way to go – again to each their own, and I have found myself at times in all three of these categories. I’m stating again that I am LOVING this book for the fact that it is making me stop in my tracks, reflect on how I interact with my children, and forcing myself to make a better choice of words or actions next time the situation arises.

Multiple examples are given throughout the book which help with understanding – most of which pertain to a little bit older children, but the underlying meaning is still relevant. The authors also put in “Love and Logic Tips” that are excerpts of personal stories they use as teaching moments. These are SUPER helpful and easy to refer back to when needing a refresher.

I think the hardest part of parenting, which they nail on the head AND encourage, is that we as parents have to see our children fail. I mean how hard is that?!?! Look at these cuties and tell me you don’t want to help them not ever have to feel trials!

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However, through these failures come consequences (they refer to them as Significant Learning Opportunities) and are the lessons that children need to learn. The positive end of this for us parents is through these SLOs, children learn responsibility and independence. “Children who grow in responsibility also grow in self-esteem, a pre-requisite for achievement in the real world…there is a direct correlation between self-concept and performance in school, at home , on the playground, or wherever children may be. Kids learn best and are responsible when they feel good about themselves.”

So far I am enjoying this book. The many examples and phrases they say NOT to do, I have done – and they couple that with what I should be saying to create a lasting relationship with my kids. I love that it is making me stop and think – as that is how I best learn as a parent – and learn new ways to interact with Paisley and Carson. It is helping me step towards my goal of 2017, which is to become a better mother, wife and friend.

I will continue to post reviews of this book as I get further in to it. If you have any questions along the way, do not hesitate to ask me! I’d be happy to give my opinion (and it is JUST that…my opinion – you are the expert of your own life!) and what the book suggests one to do.

Thanks for reading!

~xo~

My Tasmanian Devil…and what to do about her!

Whoever dubbed the term “terrible twos” had not yet had a “threenager”. Brian and I joke about this all the time, but in reality, we both feel that the transition to a 3 and now almost 4 year old has been WAY more difficult than a 2 year old.

I have found myself struggling this past year to maintain my parental calmness around Paisley at times. My social work brain continually tells my mommy brain that she has been through so many big transitions (new baby brother, cross country move – separating herself from all her family and friends, staying home full-time with me) this past year, “no wonder she is acting this way”. For some reason, even though I know this, it doesn’t give me the peace of mind to reassess how I feel in those moments of irritation and anger, and how I handle myself as a result.

When I speak to Brian about it, his go-to response is “what would your social worker brain tell you to do”. As much as I don’t like to admit it, but he is right. I needed to step out of my mommy brain and look deeper into the root of the behaviors. I decided to crack open the old therapy books and give it a go.

*Disclaimer: I am trained as a social worker that focused on individual therapy with children who experienced trauma, mainly who lived in the inner-city, and who’s families experienced “complex trauma” (multiple, generational traumatic events). My experience and background speak to that. I also focus on strengths-based approaches, shying away from punitive or shaming techniques because they don’t fix the problem and rarely help. My techniques will be relationship building and strengthening techniques, and most of the work is to be done by us…the parents. ALSO, techniques I share may or may not work for your child. Each one is different, along with parenting style and personality. It truly is an experiment that is best done consistently and for a 2-3 week period to determine if it works for your family.*

A little about 3 and 4 year old development to help set the stage for the strategies that I suggest:

  • 4 year-olds want to try new experiences. They want to be self-reliant and seek to expand the areas of their lives where they can be independent decision-makers
    • Seeking to test limits and boundaries, love to be “helpers” and seen as capable
  • Their brains are developing quickly to desire to learn words and letters, problem solving, shapes and colors. They understand days of the week sequence, but cannot tell time.
    • Cue all the “why” and “what’s this” questions!
  • Emotionally, 4 year-olds continue to learn what causes certain feelings and realize that others may react to the same situation differently. 
  • They have learned to better manage intense emotions with coping strategies like talking it out or drawing a picture.
    • ONLY if they have been previous taught to do so.

After going back through these main points, it helped me realize what is going on in her brain. Before I can do anything about strategies to try, I have to stop and think what triggers I have – what behaviors she does that make me go coocoo cachoo!

My biggest struggle with Paisley is the seemingly blatant not listening and her attitude (screaming “I don’t care”, running away, and the occasional temper tantrum to be a bit more specific). I find myself trying to figure out how much discipline needs to be done, if I have too many rules and restrictions, am I being fair and providing reasonable consequences for her age and developmental stage, was I too mean/harsh, not enough? The struggle is real!

If I started talking about strategies without explaining a bit on the brain, I feel I would be doing you a disservice. Very brief and basic…Our brains are split in to 3 separate parts: Brain Stem, Limbic System, Prefrontal Cortexparts-of-the-brain

This picture was taken from Dr. Bruce Perry’s presentation about brain development. He is my favorite psychologist to refer to when discussing brain development and the impact trauma has on the brain. But that is a total side note…if you want to read a more in depth explanation of brain development go here.

When we react to situations, we are coming from our limbic system (emotional state) rather than responding from our prefrontal lobes (thinking/logical state). As parents, it results in us yelling, threatening, or throwing tantrums ourselves rather than helping our children address their needs in those moments in a logical manner and teaching them the correct way to respond or act.

So back to my examples of Paisley’s behaviors that drive me nutty! She has developed a habit of being SUPER whiny and throwing a fit when she doesn’t get what she wants (which lead to not listening or exhibiting a negative attitude). Depending on the day, will determine whether I react or respond. My reactions usually coincide with my internal feelings of completing my “to-dos” or not. If I feel like I haven’t had enough time to get what I want done, I usually am already frustrated and typically react…and it’s not pretty. After raising my voice, threatening her, etc. her body language says it all. Her shoulders are slumped, she won’t look at me, and sometimes will even yell back “I don’t want you to look at me!” There is nothing worse than feeling like you have screwed everything up for you kid.

Before we can even try to respond to our children’s behaviors we have to get ourselves in check first. It’s all about self-care, taking care of ourselves first. Think airplane oxygen mask example. The flight attendants always tell you to put the mask on yourself, then on any kiddos. What good is your kiddo if they have their mask on, but you don’t? We have to have our brains calm enough to respond appropriately and teach our children the skills they need. (I did a few posts about what self-care is and how to incorporate more ideas into your daily routine. Check them out here, here and here.)

So what do we do to help ourselves NOT react this way? How do we shift the discipline paradigm in our own brains from “punishment” to “teaching”? What strategies or ideas have been helpful in the past and need to be re-introduced?

Discipline has such a negative connotation. Discipline is about teaching a child the skills to calm themselves down, not punishment. Discipline is not something you do to children, but something you develop within them.

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We, as parents, have to find what our children need and that will give us our answer on how we respond to those needs. Needs are tied to the parts of the brain. Always ask yourself:

  • Is my child safe/being safe?
    • Basic needs of safety and security (brain stem portion of the brain) – food, shelter, water, love
    • The way to respond is with attachment, nurture, love and care
  • Is my child seeking connection?
    • Respond with attention, self-regulating activities (dancing, singing, rocking, swaying, hugging, etc)
  • Is my child bored, seeking challenge?
    • Respond with stimulating activities, increase skill level to create a challenge

*I will get more in to this in a different post, as this is already getting lengthy!*

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We cannot teach what we do not know. Modeling appropriate and wanted behavior is the easiest and most effective way to teach.

First and foremost, we must remain calm and in control of our own internal state (it helps keep us in our prefrontal cortex/logical part of the brain). Literally stop your thoughts, take a deep breathe (may even require us to leave the room – as long as the child is safe – and collect ourselves prior to speaking) and tell yourself “I can do this”. Next, focus on assertive language with your child. Tell them what you want them to do not what you want them to stop. Paint a picture of what you want your child to do.

For example, Paisley loves playing with cars (so much so, she literally played with cars and “parking spots” for 2 days with grandpa this week…all day). Prior to dinner or bedtime I may say, “It’s time to clean up the cars. Put the cars into the bucket.” (specific and clear, assertive instructions)

If she complies, say “You did it! You are cleaning up the cars and putting them in the bucket.” (positive affirmation and awareness that she is doing what is asked)

If she refuses, say “I’m going to help you start putting the cars in the bucket.” (modeling appropriate behavior, providing a relationship building moment by assisting)

If she complies this time, say “That’s it. You’re doing it. It’s hard to stop when you are having fun.” (tuning in to her desire to have fun and not wanting to stop, makes her feel heard)

If she refuses and turns or jerks away, notice her body movements and say, “Your arms went like this (demonstrate) and your head went like this (demonstrate).” (tuning in to her body language and actions, makes her feel heard, but also serves as a distraction or stopping her brain for a bit)

When she looks to see what you are doing, take a breath and say, “There you are!” Then offer two positive choices such as, “You can put all the blue and red cars in the bucket or you can put the silver and purple ones in. Which do you choose?” (noting that you see her looking at you, offering two choices – gives her a sense of control/putting her in her prefrontal state or logical brain – end result is cleaning up the cars)

When she chooses to clean up, give positive and specific praise. I realize that this example seems pretty “fluffy”, but cleaning up is one of our biggest struggles – cue the raging tornado and drama-mama or this sweet girl who does it the first time. Her not cleaning up when I ask, makes me nutty and sometimes turns me into the wicked witch. But going back through these very simplified steps and realizing that she is ONLY 4 YEARS OLD (barely 4, she’s been on this earth longer as a 3 year old than a 4 year old), helps me remember that she just doesn’t have all the skills and self-control I think she should have, or that she showed yesterday!

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I have to continually tell myself that children are just that, children. They learn through play. They learn by example. They dive deep into their play and trying to pull them out of it before they are ready can result in the tasmanian devil showing up for a bit. They are people just like we are. They have feelings just like we do. What they don’t have yet is the social-awareness and self-control to keep them in check like we do.

 

That is where we come in as parents and caregivers. It is our job to teach these skills, to model appropriate ways to behave, to help them through a tantrum rather than trying to make it stop.

It is a big task to be a parent. Being a parent means we signed up for the most self-less job in the world. We give up a lot to put full focus on the needs of our children. With this, we need to remember that we are people too, who have needs.

We need to take time out EVERY SINGLE DAY for ourselves, even if it is something small. It helps re-balance our brains to put us in our prefrontal state – logical/thinking brain – so we can best provide for our children.

I hope this is somewhat helpful and not too all over the place! My brain wants to go in so many different directions with these topics, but I am trying my best to keep everything coherent.

I posted on Facebook a few days ago about topics you all were struggling with as parents, hoping to gather some direction on content you’d like to see. So far topics are potty training, discipline, babies who seem inconsolable, strong-headed children (and parents). I will do my best to address these in ways that I know how. And please know that not all my strategies or suggestions will work with your kiddo. It truly is a game of trial and error to figure out if the example above works with your child or sets them off even more.

For all you readers out there, here are a few books that I love for parenting:

I’d love to hear your concerns or what strategies you use that are effective! I am NOT THE EXPERT, just someone who has tried a lot of different strategies and found some that work for my kiddos and those I used to work with.

Happy Thursday!

~xo~

Self-Care: Distractions Work

It’s time for the second version of self-care posts. (Catch the first segment here) Tonight is all about distractions.

When you feel yourself in a bad mood, stop the negative thoughts by distracting yourself. The thing you choose to distract yourself with should be interesting and intriguing to you. Doing this thing should either require your full attention, or be so absorbing of your attention that you will forget yourself. Watching a movie or TV show, surfing the net, reading a book, listening to (energizing) music, calling a friend, and exercising are good examples of the latter, while engaging in detail-oriented tasks like writing, programming, cleaning your house, weeding your garden, playing music or singing or otherwise being artistic, or organizing your files are examples of the former.

You should do something you like doing if at all possible. Running can be a fine distraction if you like exercising or find it absorbing, but it won’t work out well if you don’t.

Distraction is not typically thought of when it comes to coping or self-care. One reason why distraction is not more popular as a means of coping with negative moods is because it goes against “the norm” which suggests that you have to face your problems before you can escape or deal with them. From this point of view, saying that its okay to distract yourself when you feel bad is like saying that denial is a good way of life. This is a false argument, however. It is true that a certain amount of facing or learning to accept negative emotions is a healing thing. The less you struggle against negative emotions, the less you have to feel badly about. It is also true that sometimes negative emotions can be overwhelming, and you really need a break from them. You need to find a personally appropriate balance between dealing directly with such moods and escaping from them in order to have the best chance of healing. Compartmentalizing it to save for a time when you are ready and able to handle the feeling or problem.

Now for the fun part! I’ve put together some of my favorite distraction techniques, and again you need to do what works for you. Something to lose yourself fully in, once you do stick to it.

Cleaning – If I feel overwhelmed I am usually handling that emotion by organizing or cleaning my house. The distraction is productive, but it also has huge neurological benefits. Cleaning provides a lot of repetitive and rhythmic movements, which has been proven to calm the brain and body (similar to why we rock a crying baby), in the walking around, pushing the vacuum or broom, wiping the counters. Plus I get to put on my favorite tunes (the past few days it has been Christmas music…never too early) and lose myself in the music and monotony of cleaning.

Coloring – I am a huge fan of this distraction technique. I have always loved coloring, not doodling or drawing, but a good, clean and new children’s book. I tend to lean towards using colored pencils, but have been known to use skinny markers, too. It’s easy and gives me something light-hearted to focus on in that moment. When I was working with Crittenton Children’s Center and Operation Breakthrough, in the self-care training portion, a skill taught and practiced was a graduate level version of coloring, which is Mandalas. There are a ton of books you can pick up at Target, Walmart, any store really. I have also found a bunch of different patterns through this site. Print the ones that appeal to you and have at it!

Organization – This could be taken similar to cleaning, but in my case I like to organize my thoughts. My mind is so full with different hats I wear in my life: Mom, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Stella & Dot Stylist, Maid, etc. I tend to feel overwhelmed and that I am not doing as much as I should be. Organizing my mind somewhat coincides with coloring. I love planners and hand writing schedules. If my brain is feeling very hectic, I bust out my colored pens (Sharpie pens are the bomb and I just found these, and am obsessed!). Each person or event in my life has a color, so my month and days are organized by color, time and date. It’s a glorious rainbow. Ha. I also love to-do lists. I color code those as well and separate them out by subject (Home, Family, Stella & Dot, etc). These things help me get out of my head and prioritize what needs to be done, pushing aside the less important items.

Exercise – When I was working full-time as a therapist, nightly walks before dinner were a must. We would get home, strap the kids in the stroller, leash up the dogs and walk. Even if it was just 15 minutes. It was Brian and I’s time to just talk about the stressors at work. This allowed both of time to truly listen, with no other distractions and get rid of stress. Again this technique is perfect for re-balancing the brain through the rhythmic and repetitive motions of walking, plus exercise releases endorphins to the brain that increases mood.

I will say that these self-care tips are not done every day, except the exercise…usually every day. Ha. These are usually only whipped out when I have had a crazy day and can’t or don’t want to deal with the problems. I know eventually they will be dealt with, but for those times where my brain is not able to problem solve, I turn to a few of these ideas.

Up next is a section that is VERY hard for me to do, one that takes practice, one that takes time and a mind to remember to do so…Quiet, focused mind. This will include mindfulness, finding your inner mantra and unplugging.

Hope you have a fantastic Thursday night and ENJOY!

~xo~

Self-Care: Pamper Yourself

This post is long overdue but is coming at the perfect time!

You all know I have been working on increasing my daily self-care and establishing healthy and new routines that will in turn make me a better wife, mother, person. I’ve hit some bumps along the way, most recently with a bout of sickness and sinus gunk that pretty much has put me out of commission. This week is the first week I am feeling almost back to my normal self, so it’s back to the self-care regimen.

The reason I say this post is coming at the perfect time is because Brian and I are taking a weekend getaway, just the two of us (yay!) to Carmel. His mom and sister were flying out to spend some time with us (and by us I mean the kids), and they suggested we go somewhere, take a trip, enjoy the weekend. Little hesitation was spent making the decision! Although, I did go through a small ounce of mom-guilt, being that excited to have a weekend with the hubs, kid free. But I have told myself to stop those thoughts! We deserve it.

These past few months have been stressful with Brian studying for a licensing test and being more stressed at work. We are both looking forward to a weekend away with time to do whatever we want. There really is no schedule (gasp! or spreadsheet, HA) with an itinerary, we are literally driving down and figuring out what we want to do. I have done a little preparation, and found this amazing looking spa called Refuge that I want to check out. With hot and cold pools, a sauna and the option of a massage…it looks like heaven. And a relaxing few hours is much needed for these two tired parents…but now back to self-care!

This post is all about Pampering Yourself and finding what works for you! Some pampering can be as little getting your nails painted (or doing them yourself), taking a bubble bath, a new haircut, buying a new lotion smell or lighting a candle that helps you relax. Seriously, it could be anything to make yourself feel better.

I am a bath girl, with water piping hot. I have found this amazing company that is all about pampering! It’s called Perfectly Posh and my friend from college, Amanda is a consultant (check out her site here). I have purchased lotions, lip balm, bar soap, face masks and my latest addiction is their bath salts.

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They go perfectly with my ultra hot water, the smells are fantastic AND you get to mix and match what you like. With over 30 choices of fragrances, you can find what works best for you! Seriously love these little packets of joy!

My other favorite way to pamper myself and little pick me up is to do my nails. I thoroughly enjoy getting them done, and would rather someone else do all that work, but who has the $$ to do that as often as we like, right?? I have found this gel nail kit that works wonders! The most frustrating thing when painting nails is in a few days they chip…all that work for nothing. With this kit, it looks just like the pros did them and they stay on for two weeks. The kit I use is called Sensationail. You can get the kit along with a variety of colors on their site, at Target, or Walmart or on Amazon. Wait until there is a sale though! The starter kit can be a bit pricey, but way cheaper than shelling out $60 for a mani/pedi every few weeks.

Massages are another one of my fave ways to relax (hence my hope and longing that Refuge will make it on the to do list this weekend!), but they are uber pricey. The hubs is always a good alternative, but that usually lasts about 3 solid minutes before his concentration is back on the TV! Not quite the same as paying someone to rub your muscles for an hour, but again, not a bad alternative.

The last pick me up that always works for pampering is my sense of smell. I can get so worked up and distracted by daily tasks, but stopping and putting on some lotion allows me to slow down and take some breaths. Perfectly Posh has a variety of smells and I also love the Aromatherapy line from Bath and Body Works, especially the stress relief one containing Eucalyptus Oils! My other love for smells comes from Scentsy. I have 2 warmers that are usually always on at my house! I just purchased the Autumn Sunset from my girl Liz, and it is my fall favorite! I put a few drops of lavendar oil in the warmer and that combination is heavenly! Seriously, you should try it!

Anywho…just wanted to jot down a quick post about self-care and different ways to pamper yourself. From relaxing bubble baths to lighting a candle. Find what works for you and DO IT! Your loved ones will thank you for taking time out for yourself.

Stay tuned for more ideas!

~XO~

The Importance of You

You cannot control all life events that come your way, but you can control how you react and respond to them. You can control how you take care of yourself to ensure that you respond the way you want, rather than react the way you regret.

Self-Care plain and simple is the daily activities we do to look after ourselves, the process of looking after one’s self.  And it is the hardest thing for some of us to do, myself included.

I, by nature, am a giver. My chameleon self likes to please others, in turn disregarding my own needs and desires. I put others first, often times resulting in personal frustration for not getting done what I want to get done. Frustration with others lack of initiative and grace. Frustration with others not caring about other people, as much as I would like or do. All of this results in me having TERRIBLE self-care routines and often times being a crabby, grumpy mommy and wife.

In the next few weeks I will post 4 different pieces of a self-care series, in the hopes of accomplishing two different things. Changing my daily routines and habits to help me put myself first, which then in turn will help my family. Giving you a few ideas on how to improve or add to your self-care routines.

The first thing I have to get rid of is the mom guilt. It is not a selfish thing to want some peace and quiet, some “me time”, some pampering “just because”. It is absolutely necessary. Our brains are wired to put our needs first, it’s primal. Once our basic needs are met, then we are able to provide assistance to others. Anyone remembering Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? Physiological (air, water, food, shelter, clothing). Safety (personal safety, financial security, health and well-being). These are the first 2 sections of Maslow’s pyramid. If our own basic needs are not met, we CANNOT care for another efficiently.

When I did parent training with inner-city families, I often used the airplane metaphor to relate the importance of self-care. Most have been on a plane. Those who have flown with kiddos knows that the flight attendant walks the aisles before take-off, and when he or she gets to your row, they ALWAYS tell you “place the mask on you first, then your child”. ALWAYS! That’s because, if you try and put the mask on your kiddo first, you may run out of oxygen and what good are you, the parent, if you’re passed out? Always place it on yourself first, then your child. Always take care of yourself first, then take care of your child.

This is by far the most important piece of advice I can give, either professionally or personally. Every component of therapy begins with a self assessment. Often times, parents note that they are too stressed, too busy, too XYZ to complete the tasks that the therapist is asking. When it comes down to it, they are busy and that busy-ness leads to a lack of self-care time, which leads to reacting rather than responding to their children’s behaviors.

When parents (myself included) take the time to read a book, exercise, have friend time, do some retail therapy, they find themselves in a better place. Their mood is increased, and they are able to RESPOND to their child’s behaviors. They are able to validate and empathize with their child. They are able to teach their child the correct behavior.

This series will include tips on how to pamper yourself, distract yourself, focus and practice mindfulness, and get rid of the mom/dad guilt. It is important to do so. It is important to get our needs met, too. Our children need us to be 100% present and focused. They need to see our positive examples. Stay tuned for some fun and practical ways to get self-care in your daily life.

I would love to incorporate some of your favorite and most effective ways of doing self-care! Comment below with what you do for yourself.

Stay tuned!!

~xo~